(That Bitch’s) Holiday Wine Cake

This holiday cake is always a favorite and it’s VERY easy to make. This cake is one that cries out to be shared the whole world over. And I love to tell the story of how it came into my furry paws. Hehehe.

A friend of mine gave me this cake several years ago for Christmas and I absolutely flipped over its light and rich texure, and warm hint of alcohol and nutmeg. Unfortunately she couldn’t get me the recipe since this was the guarded secret of a “friend” of hers. This “friend” (from here on referred to as The Bitch) utterly refused to share it!! So my friend had to PAY The Bitch to make these cakes up for her holiday gift giving. That bitch! I was hooked on this new savory delight, but not wanting to be ass-fucked by The Bitch like my friend, I resolved to crack the code. This led to many days of thinking, baking and failed attempts. I tried this and that, and I was starting to get tired of my bundt pan! And then it hit me when I was sipping sherry at another friend’s house. Sherry! That’s what that taste was, and it wasn’t wine AT ALL! Very clever of The Bitch to call it wine cake just to divert me off the trail. Plus I also realized that The Bitch was not a “from scratch” sort, but more of a box-mix type. Eureka! The code was then easy to crack and my reward was to gain a few extra pounds in the process!

And so my bear brothers, enjoy this wonderful holiday cake, and please remember to share this recipe with absolutely everyone and anyone you can think of. This is my heart-felt holiday gift to The Bitch, with love.

Preheat oven at 350† and prepare bundt cake mold by coating with oil/butter/crisco liberally and then dust with flour.

1 package yellow cake mix, supermoist with pudding in the mix
1 package instant vanilla pudding mix
4 eggs
3/4 cups oil
1 cup sherry (or for a sweeter taste, use a sweet sparkling wine like Asti)
1 tablespoon nutmeg
Topping: powdered sugar, Rum Glaze (see below), or a no-alcohol glaze

Combine all ingredients and beat for 2 to 3 minutes. Pour into mold and bake for 40-45 minutes until done. When done, let set in mold for 10 minutes. Unmold onto rack. When cool, transfer to plate. For topping, either dust with powdered sugar or drizzle with Rum Glaze. And that’s it!! You can make one bundt cake or several mini bundt cakes.

Rum Glaze

Combine and mix well:
2 cups powdered sugar
3 tablespoons rum (if glaze is too thick, add more...liqueur can be substituted)
2 tablespoons melted butter

Spread, drizzle or pour over cake.

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